Saturday, February 6, 2021

I love you, Dad

It still does not seem real, but my Dad passed away January 29. He was injured in a fall and ill for a couple of months, and for the last half of January he was hospitalized. I was very lucky to be able to travel to him and spend many hours with him at the hospital, despite COVID restrictions. (My Dad was not able to use his hands very well at that point, and because of understaffing I was allowed to come every day to help him eat and drink.) One of my sisters is also a nurse at the hospital, so I shared those hours with her and another sister who were also his caregivers at various times. I will be forever grateful for those days with him, because none of us anticipated losing him so soon. He passed away peacefully, surrounded by loved ones.

These are some of my favorite photos from his memorial service, and one from a Christmas before I let my hair color match my dad's. I can strongly see the face of my youngest daughter in his adorable grumpy school photo. I'm sure little overalled Bill Lewis (called Lebo by his family) would have much rather been running in the woods with his dog, Rook, than having his hair slicked down for picture day.

My grief is so weird. I'm fine a lot of the time. At peace. And then random memories or objects will make me break down in sobs. His eyeglasses. Stepping inside his RV. Discovering he carefully kept a birthday card I drew for him in 1987. It feels as though there were two strong ropes which tie me to where I belong and who I am, and one of them has been cut.

It's been a very difficult couple of months for my whole family, but I know that God, who so richly answered our prayers all through January, will carry us all through in the coming days. I'm resting in Him and slowly getting back to my every day life and to do list.

On Christ the solid rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand